As more and more people discover the benefits associated with mindfulness, that is really focusing and considering your actions and thoughts, it’s been only a matter of time before the concept is applied to parenting. What exactly is mindful parenting and is it something worth trying?
MINDFULNESS……APPLIED TO CHAOS
The most widely known application of mindfulness is mindful eating. It requires you to really taste your food: chew each bite throughly and savor the flavors. Taking it further, mindful eating includes consideration of where the food came from, what ingredients are in it, and what kind of environmental impact does your meal have. Then you take steps to drive your eating towards desirable implications for your body and the environment like eating more vegetables or eating only grass-fed beef.
Comparing mindful parenting to mindful eating, we begin to understand the intense thought process that goes along with the lifestyle. Mindful parents begin with questions like the best method of potty training, to how will time outs be construed by a toddler, to what are the TV guidelines. Basically to mindfully parent, you need to establish your goals of what you want your children to develop into (compassionate, studious, original thinkers, etc) then base all your parenting decisions into molding your children towards those goals. This is easier said than done.
WANT TO TRY MINDFUL PARENTING?
From the outside, mindful parenting sounds a lot like regular parenting: most parents make decisions every day with the full knowledge the outcome will affect their children’s development. However mindful parenting involves you, the parent, thinking outside the box and remaining calm.
For example, consider situations from your child’s point of view, did they understand their actions were discouraged? Be sure you communicate with your children so they are fully aware of their expectations. When explaining expectations, put yourself in your child’s place and imagine what they are thinking, how can you as the adult relate better to them?
If you’re faced with a situation where you don’t know what to do, follow your instincts. This may require a moment of silence and deep breathing on your part, especially if your child just created an unimaginable mess and all you can think to do is scream. Take a few breaths, consider if your child has been warned to not do this in the past, she may have not known she was doing anything wrong. Take note of your child’s facial expression, surely she has picked up your anger and is on the verge of tears. This may be a moment to speak calmly, but sternly with your child.
IN THE LONG RUN
In a perfect world children always say please and thank you, clean up their messes, and never fight with their siblings. This isn’t a perfect world, and you, no matter how hard you try, aren’t perfect. Don’t strive to create a Zen-like atmosphere in your home, instead strive to simply control your emotions and deal with chaos cooly and calmly. In the long run your children will learn discipline and most of all take note that being calm and thinking things through helps alleviate issues easier.
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