In this day and age people aren’t feeling pressured to stay in bad marriages just because there are children involved. Instead, they opt to find new healthy relationships that end up in having stepdads, stepmoms, step kids, and half-siblings. In other words, about one in four families are blended families with children, and this can be a good thing.
First, Is Your New Significant Other Worth an Introduction?
It would be irresponsible to tout the advantages of having a blended family without first providing some perspective. While it is perfectly fine to be a single parent and date, it can cause undue heart break for your child to be involved in your dating process. When you bring home a new suitor to meet your child, be sure that your relationship is in a serious, committed, and healthy place.
Beginning the Blended Relationships
It would be foolish to begin the relationship between your Significant Other (SO) and your child with intense expectations. While we hope that they will become the best of friends forcing that relationship will only backfire. Let the relationship happen slowly, naturally. If your new SO has kids of their own, planning a few group play-dates or outings is probably a good idea, along with some quality one-on-one time. With time, patience, understanding, and quality communication, your family is sure to be happily blended.
Advantages for Your Child
While a divorce and new marriage can be tough for a child to handle, over time they’ll be able to warm up to it. When they do, they will find there are several advantages to having a blended family. A person can never have too many parental figures in their life giving them love and support. Parents are all people and people have both strengths and weaknesses. Step parents can be great for filling in those gaps for the few weaknesses their biological parents are sure to have. They can provide support for new skills, hobbies, and interests. A step parent might be easier for a child to talk to about certain situations in their life that are troubling them. Similarly, a healthy relationship with a step parent can promote healthy future relationships and trust between your child and other authority figures they may encounter.
Furthermore, supporting the relationship between your ex’s new SO and your child is an incredibly important thing. Your child won’t fight the relationship so much when they know you support it. As a bonus to you, when your child is over at your ex’s place and you know their new SO is responsible, loving, and stable, you can rest easy knowing your child is getting the best care.
A Note about Discipline
While no stepparent deserves to be disrespected, the bulk of the discipline should rest on the parent’s shoulders. That is not so say that stepparents don’t get a voice, it is to say that the loudest voice should be the parents. This ends up working out well, however, because as a result the stepparents are able to garner a pretty fun reputation.
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