Raising independent children is one of the main parenting goals every parent should have. If your child can grow up and take care of themselves, you know you’ve done a good job. However, children don’t start becoming independent at 18. Learning independence is a multifaceted process that should begin from a young age. Read on to discover some tips on how to raise your child to be independent.
Let Them Do It
Many parents find that forcing their kids to do the things that they are supposed to do is harder than just doing it yourself. It is easier and faster to pick up your kid’s dropped clothing than it is to tell them several times to pick up their own clothes. However, taking the time to teach your child to clean up after themselves is one small step towards their independence.
Establish Structures and Routines
Children’s independence can thrive within routines and physical structures. For example, consider the cubbies that your child maintains at school. It would be foolish to consider forcing the teacher to hang up a classroom full of coats and backpacks. The cubby is a designated space that your child functions within independently. They know where to hang their coat, put their backpack, and store their lunch. The same sort of structure should be created within your home for much the same purpose. Give your child a hamper so that they may put their dirty clothes in it. Children tend to find it easier to use dressers to store their clean clothes than hanging everything up in a closet. Provide them with a cubby, or something similar, where they can store their coat, shoes, etc. Put water glasses and water access in a place they can reach so that you can show them how to get themselves a glass of water, and then expect them to get such items for themselves. With a little bit of structure and routine, even a child as young as three can begin to provide solutions for their own needs and take care of their own belongings.
Make a Family Emphasis on Problem Solving
Teaching your child how to solve their own problems is a skill that must be learned, much like how reading must be taught. However, with a little bit of patience, you can teach your child how to identify which problems they can solve on their own and which problems they should come to you for. Furthermore, a family that emphasizes solutions to problems tends to have a healthier relationship with making mistakes. If the problem is always focused on, a fear of mistakes tends to develop. When solutions are explored, a failure is simply a solution that didn’t work.
Actively Teach Language
Children are not born with innate social language skills. We must teach them these things. However, once we teach our children how to express their emotions, how to deal with conflict, or even how to ask for help, they will be able to manage their own, independent, social lives. Now, we parents need to remember to step back and allow them to practice social language skills.
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